


How We Cope With Our Dashed Hopes

by StarsandSapphires



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Skoobs settlement, Zombies Write!, musings on life, warning: sadness detected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsandSapphires/pseuds/StarsandSapphires
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A teenage girl watches her world literally crash and burn around her. What really happened at the student settlement of Skoobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How We Cope With Our Dashed Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: YOU are a teen Skoob, hanging out at the town that was said to be destroyed early in the first season! After telling us a bit about yourself, you turn, smelling smoke... The siege begins... where were you and how did you react when the zombies attacked, destroying your town?

"This is just how I like to spend a morning."

"What – freezing from cold on top of a tower, shooting down zombies?"

The fair-skinned girl turned a disapproving glare on her companion. "I was  _going_ to say hanging out with you, looking at the stars." She grinned her crooked smile. "But same dif, I suppose. What's my agenda for today?"

"Julia, I'm pretty sure you've got it memorized." The young man facing her smiled, running a hand through his messy brown hair.

"I like to have it repeated back to me. Wait, zomb." Julia took aim with her rifle over the wall and casually shot a zombie in the head; it crumpled to the ground.

"Okay then." He screwed up his face in thought. "In the morning, we've got to set up new chicken fences and make the trade with Abel Township. We've got the visitor coming in with supplies from Mullins – I suspect that'll take most of your time. And then," he smiled, leaning against the stone wall. "We're both on the rest period at the same time."

. "I swear, John." She paused and turned back to him, laughing. "Is Liz organizing our shifts so similarly on purpose?"

"Dunno." Her companion nudged her. "I think she knows that the more you're around me, the less stressed out you are."

"No one I'd rather shoot zombies in the face with." Julia joked, keeping her emotions at arm's length. But she couldn't say that she wasn't pleased with the arrangements as they were. "Movie night tonight?"

"Considering you've been giving up rest periods to let Andrea rest from her flu, I think you  _actually_  need to sleep this time."

Julia shrugged – despites John's complaint, the dark circles under her eyes and headaches were just a part of her life now. "I can sleep when I'm dead." She said with a laugh.

John's face grew somber. "Or undead."

Julia quieted as well.

The wind grappled all around them, as they stared down into the empty valley, with its stunted firs and gaunt thorns. From here, they could just make out buildings in the distance – but no lights blazed a ray of hope. The chilly air whipped at their faces and stole its flushed color. Everyone in Skoobs might have been alive, but the world was dead.

"You know what's funny?" Julia said quietly.

"What?"

"We thought that having no adults around was an  _upside_  during this whole thing." She looked down at her hands, guilt knotting in her stomach.. "That at least we'd have some freedom."

"Yeah?" John shrugged. "And we do, don't we?"

"But I think – I think me and you just  _became_  the adults." Julia mused, turning and leaning back against the wall. "We thought it would be fun to never grow up but… in doing so, we grew up anyway."

"In the real world, we would be going out on our own anyway. Moving out, all that jazz."

"This is different." Julia sighed. "This shouldn't have happened this way."

"What do you mean?"

"I –" She broked off, bitterness choking off her words. "I guess I feel like I should have grown up in a college classroom, not with my face smeared with dirt, ordering people around."

"Yeah, I know." His eyebrows drew together, and he sighed. "But if it helps at all, you make a very good leader."

"Thanks, John." Julia let out a little half-laugh. "And you make a very good sidekick."

The silence stretched between them again, and the two listened to the howl of the wind as it raced across the stone walls of Skoobs.

"Maybe you still have a chance." John suggested, looking towards the sky in thought, where the stars seemed to map the future before them. "Ever wonder about the future?"

She looked up at the night sky showered with sparkling lights. The millions of stars twinkled down at them… spelling out constellations and galaxies, and life. Life itself. At least the skies were alive.

"Yeah," She said simply. "All the time."

"Like – where are we going to go, what are we going to do, who are we going to keep in the new future?" His face grew flushed with excitement. "I'm actually a little excited to help found a new world. Maybe you'll be a big important leader then, too."

"I don't know." She ran her fingers through her hair, feeling a twinge of shame as his face fell.

"What?"

"Sometimes… sometimes it's hard just to get through the day."

John frowned. "I know. But tomorrow is definitely worth fighting for." He maintained, reaching forward and brushing the hair back from her face.

"And the next day?"

" _Definitely_  the next day. And every day. Every day is worth fighting for." He smiled at the thought of it, keeping his hand on her shoulder for a moment. "We're fighting for the future here. Fighting for whomever we want to take with us." He looked her up and down. "Cold?"

She hadn't even noticed that she was shivering. John wrapped an arm around her stiff body, and without thinking she leaned in to his embrace. A feeling of peace and tranquility suffused her, and he let out a weary sigh and nuzzled his face against the top of her head.

He smelled of the sun, of better days when she had the chance to run and laugh and be free. She adjusted her head against his chest and closed her eyes, holding him tighter. After a moment of silence, she realized their hearts were beating in time, and something felt very right about that.

 _If you're my future,_  she thought,  _then maybe it wouldn't be_ too _bad._

"Julia, you're dozing off."

"I – I am  _not_." She protested sleepily. "Leaders don't  _doze off_."

John raised an eyebrow. "Then what do they do? Nap?"

"We…" Julia forced open her eyes as she pondered. "We  _slumber lightly_."

"Are we really going to argue vocabulary while you can barely keep your eyes open?" John laughed. "Go and put your head down. Take a nap on the desk for a minute."

"But –" Julia protested, her head spinning and her body screaming for rest. "But that's not doing my job."

John rolled his eyes. " _Heaven forbid you're not doing a job_. You can be listening on the comms system. There. Take a few minutes out of the cold."

"Are you sure?" She asked, feeling a rush of gratitude.

"There haven't been many tonight. I'm fine." He smiled in her direction as he took his position back in front of the wall.

"You're corrupting me." She sighed. "You've won this battle, but you're not going to win the war."

"That's okay - I win every day, because I have you."

She wasn't quite sure how to respond, so she relaxed, giggled and laughed. There wasn't enough of that, these days. Smiling to herself, she opened the door and bathed in the warmth of the inside.

 

 

* * *

"Jul."

She became aware of the hand on her shoulder.

"Jul, it's me. I brought you breakfast."

She decided to politely ignore him, and settled back into the warm pillow of her arms.

"Come on, dear, we've got to get up and get on with the day." John shook her slightly. "You can sleep tonight."

"How the hell are you so cheery?" Julia finally sat up, sighed and gratefully accepted the fruit. "I'm exhausted."

"When the world is dreary," He posed, fighting to keep the smirk off of his face. "You've gotta be your  _own_  ray of sunshine."

"That used to be my line, you dork."

"That was before you started giving up rest shifts for fun." John pointed out dryly. "Now I have to be the "Official Ray of Sunshine"."

"I'll be more fun in a few hours, John, I promise. But first – did you let me oversleep?!" Her heart skipped a beat as she saw how high the sun was in the sky. "I was supposed to go down with the Alex to check on chicken fences –"

"Already done." He sat down beside her and began fiddling with the electronic dials. She had been resting on what was normally their comms desk. "I just told Alex that you were busy with something. They didn't need anything, just a bit of fence-fixing."

"Well. Are you trying to take my job?" She rubbed her face sleepily, and took a large bite of the apple. "Not cool, bro."

"I'm trying to help you sleep."

"Some things as leader I  _have_  to do, bud, or no one is going to follow me." She ran a hand through her hair as she hungrily continued to devour food. "I'm not someone for coddling."

"Leader and superhero are not synonyms." John maintained staunchly, patting the arm keeping her steady on the desk. "Sometimes you just need time for being human,  _and_  for coddling. Speaking of other humans, the guy from Mullins is landing in about an hour?"

"That's right." She straightened up. "I've got to handle that." She glanced back at the half-finished pile of food. "Thanks for breakfast, dear. I'll be back here this afternoon for the Abel Township swap, and then we'll go on the rest period?"

"Sounds good." John kept his eyes on the computer screen.

She lingered at the doorway, fiddling with the handles. "If he's cool, I'll bring the new guy up to meet ya." She added.

That caught his attention. He glanced over at her, smirking. "Are you  _looking_  for excuses to come back up and see me?"

"Oh, please. You wish." She said flippantly, finally allowed her dramatic exit. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I've got work to do."

He grinned after her. "See you soon, then."

* * *

 

The whirring blades of the green helicopter sent her hair flying everywhere. Being Medusa was probably not the best first impression to make, she thought dryly as she put a hand over her eyes. John had always told her to tie her long hair back but she never liked being told what to do.

The thudding in the air intensified as they let a man dressed in military gear out of the helicopter door and jump down on the landing pad. The muscular, dark-haired man threw a thumbs-up back to the pilot, who started to ascend his machine again. As it soared into the sky, Julia yanked out her earplugs, forced on a smile, and approached him.

"Good to see you, sir!" She outstretched a hand, but he refused to take it. "Can I have a name please?" She raised an eyebrow, smile fading. Her open hand became a fist on her hip.

"My name is Lowell. Robert Lowell." He curtly, eyes flicking to side to side as he tried to take it all in.

"Good, good." Julia said awkwardly, wondering if she needed to snap her fingers to regain his eye contact. "My name is Julia Rizzo. I'll be showing you around today."

He ignored her, and instead looked past her. "Where is your commander?"

" _Commander_?" Julia repeated, confused.

"The person in charge?" Lowell elaborated with a roll of his eyes.

Julia drew back in surprise, beginning to heartily dislike him. " _I_ am the person in charge, actually." She declared firmly, planting her other hand on her hip.

"You?" He turned his eyes on her and snickered. "You're just a kid."

" _Ruuuude._  As if age determined maturity." Julia pointed out. "I'm a legal adult, and one of the oldest ones here."

"You don't have someone older, more…"

"More what?"

"Someone more experienced here to be your leader?"

"No, we don't." Julia snapped. "We are all teenagers here, and yet  _somehow_  we've survived just as well as any other settlement around here. Imagine that. We're not idiots."

"Surely…" He didn't seem to want to accept that he had been speaking so rudely to the leader. "We could send someone down."

"Don't bother.  _Real adults_  like you would fuck up our fun." She smirked at Lowell's scandalized expression and held out a hand. "Let's take a look at those supplies, shall we? Hand them over." She ordered authoritatively. "That's what is really important here."

He swung his backpack towards her casually, expecting her to drop it from its weight. Instead, she handled the bag as if it were light as a feather, smoothly opening it and examining its contents. Her eyes grew wide in surprise.

"You only have half the supplies they told us you would bring." She whispered, head spinning.

"Do I?" Lowell asked curiously. He stepped forward and then took three back as Julia procured the gun that had been hidden under her skirt.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to need your ID." She stated matter-of-factly, clicking off the gun's safety.

Lowell threw his hands up into the air gazing down the barrel of her gun. "You just saw me come down from the Mullins chopper!" He protested.

"Irreleveant." The woman said coldly, and pressed a hand to her ear. "Jim, Wanda. I need you to take aim."

"Okay, so that's a headset and not just a headband – wait, you have  _snipers_  prepared?" Lowell let his mouth drop open in astonishment. "What the -?"

"It's called safety measures, sweetheart." Julia rolled her eyes. "We may be a bunch of kids but even we have them. Like I said before, we're not idiots. I think you might owe us an apology, but barring that," she gestured to his pockets. "You owe us your ID."

As fast as possible, he scrambled to pull out his identification. Finally, he handed it over, which Julia took with her free hand. Not dropping her gun, she examined it every which way possible.

"See? Clear military credentials." He pointed out snidely.

"Sure, it  _says_  that. I'm sending it up with John." She shrugged and tucked it into her pocket. Smiling again, she threw her arms out wide. "Meanwhile, welcome to Skoobs, my dear fellow. Could I interest you in some marijuana?"

 

* * *

"So, how did all of you get here?" Lowell asked as they became climbing the stone staircase up to the top of the blockhouse. She had warmed to him slightly, as he seemed genuinely concerned as she showed him the various areas around Skoobs.

Julia laughed slightly. "You know what's funny? We tell this story with every new Mullins person. You'd think it'd just be common knowledge by now."

"It's always –"

"Need-to-know basis, sure." She gave him a sideways glance. "I've had Mullins people in before, I'm not new to this."

"Right, I forgot. Go on."

Julia shrugged. "Half of us were all sixth formers from Northampton. It's simple, really. They were all in school when the outbreak went crazy. Most of their parents had already gone gray. Friends just sort of congregated and they started running for it – eventually found a shelter. The beginnings of Skoobs."

"'They' were? Where were you?"

"They picked me up along the way. I was pretty lucky – they wanted to kill me at first. They were going a little bit mad, didn't want anyone to know where they were going. They wanted my guns, 'cause back then I was carrying a lot of them"

"Guns?" He repeated. "What were you doing with –?"

"My mom was a hunter." Julia explained. "She and my dad went gray, so obviously she didn't have any use for them. Packed them up and left."

"You sound so… matter-of-fact." Lowell pointed out quietly.

She let out a little half-laugh, pressing her fingers into the cold metal of her handgun, because the physical pain didn't hurt as much. "I was never very close to them. If I needed a sign that it was time to move out, that was it. But," She took a staggering breath. "But, yeah. One of them – John, super sweet guy – he somehow convinced them to not kill me. Invited me to come along. Safety in numbers, and all that jazz."

"And you found this?" Lowell glanced around at the stony walls.

"…Eventually. We lived somewhere else for a while, but I made the decision to move everyone over here. By then, I had been voted leader."

"They found a stranger in the woods and just made them leader?"

Julia giggled. It did sound a little absurd. "I mean, it was a little while, but yeah. Not exactly sure how it happened. I'm just good at playing the unpopular leader role, I guess."

"What do you do?" He continued with asking questions; Julia wondered aimlessly if he ever was going to pipe down.

"Just make sure everyone does their duty, and what needs to happen for staying alive gets done. Make sure Julia sets the schedules for everyone, make sure all of the jobs get done, organize chick flick movie nights. You know, all of the important stuff. I do work too, haha. Usually I'm up with John as we try to communicate with people."

"Speaking of John," She felt a rush of gratitude as she approached the top of the tower and perhaps earned a brief respite from talking. "I'd love to introduce you!"

She flung open the doors. John, sitting dutifully at his desk, practically leapt a foot into the air.

" _Julia, I swear to_  – oh. Hello, there."

"What is it that you do?" Lowell completely ignored the other man in the room and crossed his arms, gazing intently at Julia.

" _Hellooooo_." John repeated, waving a hand.

Julia stared Lowell down and gestured to John. "Um. Say hello, dude."

"Whatever." Lowell glanced in John's direction; the other man shrugged and went back to his work. "What is it that keeps you sustained?"

"You ask a lot of questions." John said pointedly.

"Mullins doesn't tell them about us." Julia explained in John's direction – his stony expression didn't soften. "I don't see a problem with filling him in on what we need."

She turned back to their guest, backing up to sit on the desk. "We take care of chickens, which are our primary source of meat. We also grow marijuana. Surprising lucrative in these times. We trade that for most everything we need in way of supplies. However," She frowned. "If Mullins was correct, you should have brought new shelters for 25 more people, new guns, and clothing."

"Yes." The man hesitated. "I'm not sure why they fitted me with less."

"John, try to get Mullins on the comms, okay?" Behind her back she slid him the ID, and he tucked it without comment under the desk. "See what's going on."

"Roger, roger."

"And over here," She walked across the hallway, near the entrance to the staircase. "This is where we keep the schedule for the day, and what duties and shifts everyone has. We're surprising motivated without adult nagging."

Lowell ducked toward her and thoroughly examined the large corkboard, covering in bright colors and large text, besides a long column of white at the far end. An improperly pinned _Bachelorette Movie Night_  flyer found its way into his hands. Bending it back and forth, he noted dryly, "This is really cheery for a zombie apocalypse."

"Yeah, Tony likes to colorcode it." She beamed at the thought of her delightful friend. However, there was more important work to be done. She turned to Lowell, assuming again her tone of authority. "That's all I have to show you. I'm assuming you want to go down to the housing area?"

"What?" He looked more confused than he should have.

"To do your job – you know, set up shelters?" Julia reminded him, feeling uneasy at how confused he seemed, how effortlessly he had forgotten.

"Right." He awkwardly paused, and then bounded down the stairs. She curiously watched him go, and then brushed aside her worries. Why did she always suspect the very people trying most to help her.

 

* * *

There was something nice about ending days like this. John had been rubbing soothing circles into the hand he had been holding for quite some time, before startling her out of her reverie.

"I'm not fond of our new visitor." He thought aloud.

"Why? What's up?" Julia glanced up from her papers.

"Well, I went down to the housing area –  _don't_  give me that look, I had to ask her a question – and I find Amy in  _tears_."

"Why?" She straightened up and gave her best friend her full attention.

"Apparently our guest had been more interested in criminally interrogating her than in actually helping her."

"Quick tangent.  _Did_  the tents get set up?"

"I –  _Yes, Julia._  Harry had helped her out on his break, after Lowell had retired to his room. I just," John broke off, choosing his next words carefully. "I don't know why he's nosing around so much. You already gave him plenty more information than you should have."

"It's all right. I can deal with him. Did you get Mullins on comms?"

"No, they weren't answering tonight. But, whoever's taking my shift next will keep trying."

She squeezed his hand and then retracted. "Thanks for being so helpful today."

"You're sleeping soon." John said dismissively. "Don't get used to it."

Julia had gotten up to head down the stairs when he continued, "Wait! Aren't you going to stick around for the usual fiddling?"

"Oh, the trade!" Julia realized, eagerly grabbing her chair and swinging it around to John's side. "Yay. I love fiddling."

There were a few moments of confusion and dial turning, and then – "Come in, Abel Township. This is Skoobs settlement. Come in?" John said loudly, bending towards the microphone. There was a loud crackle, and it sparked to life.

A few moments of static, and then – "Abel Township here. This is Operator Sam Yao. I'm guessing this is John and Julia, as usual?"

"Present!" Julia sang.

"That's great, it's good to hear your voices." The operator relaxed. "All ready for the swap to begin, then?"

"I was born ready." John said in a deep voice. Julia playfully smacked him.

"Yes, Sam." She answered, leaning closer to the microphone and bumping John. "Got all the DVD's packed up. You should be seeing Jacob today – or, I mean, our Runner 2. He's wearing green."

"Skoobs people always wear green, Jul." John rolled his eyes.

"A little reminder never hurts!" She whispered. Then, batting her eyelashes, she continued. "I enclosed a copy of Mean Girls just for you, Sam. I can't believe you haven't watched it!"

"I'm pretty sure that's just an American thing." The man on the other end laughed. "But, hey. Something is always needed to pass the time."

"Well, soon you'll be able to quote it along with us masters here." Julia beamed in John's direction. He sat back, looking pleased. "How is Alice doing?"

There was an awkward silence on the other end.

"Yikes." John jumped in, tossing Julia a frown. "Sorry, Sam. Julia likes to ask stupid questions."

"Boo, you whore! I'm not asking stupid questions–"

"It's not a problem, guys." Sam said with a sigh. "She went missing, and we're not sure what happened to her. These things happen. It's the world we live in."

"I know that you had taken a fancy to her, Sam." Julia mused. "I'm so sorry, bud. At least you're not like us." She glanced at John. "Everyone thinks we're too weird to hang out with."

" _Never."_  Sam laughed at that, seeming to perk up. "More likely they're afraid you'd shoot them, Jules." He paused for a moment. "Our Runner Three is heading down the gates. What has our dynamic duo been up to lately?"

"Not much." John shrugged.

"What about the bloke?" Julia reminded him.

"Oh, yeah, him." John started. "Well, you see, Sam –"

"We were having someone come in from Mullin's base, giving us supplies and guns, y'know." She interrupted. "They flew down in a helo. But you know what's really strange? He didn't come in with all of the supplies he was supposed. Only half, if even that."

"He only came in with half the supplies?" The man on the other end repeated.

"Half the supplies and an overabundance of questions." John grumbled.

"I… I'm not sure what to make of that."

"I'm not worried." Julia reassured the two. "He's a nice fella and we can fend for ourselves. Although, John doesn't like him. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy."

"We definitely need cakes like that these days." Sam agreed. "Are you sure – you want us to hold off on the swap for a few hours? I might be able to talk to Janine and see if we could send over a few extra blankets."

John and Julia exchanged looks.

"I mean, I don't want to ask for it, but if you're offering –"

"It's no trouble, guys."

Lowell had entered the room stealthily behind them. The pair barely noticed.

"We'd be forever in your debt, I swear to god." Julia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay. I'll tell Three to hold off. Stay in the comm shack – I have to check in with a few Runners and then I'll get back to you. Stay safe, you guys."

John had barely set the microphone back down on the table and shared a grin with his partner-in-crime when Lowell strode across the room, slammed his hands down, and leaned over the desk.

"How long has Abel Township been in contact with you?" He demanded.

"Since we founded our colony, practically." Julia babbled, surprised at his urgency. "They were the first ones who reached out to us. Why? Is there a problem?"

The guest glared at the communications equipment, snarled, "No, ma'am." and then swept out of the room. As quickly as he had arrived, he had left again.

There was a long pause.

"Julia, I really,  _really_  don't like this." John whispered.

"I'm starting to understand." She agreed.

 

* * *

"Let's head – no, Julia –  _Julia_ – where do you think you're going?"

She turned – he looked about ready to drag her off to bed. She fought back a laugh at his exasperated expression. "I'm going to go talk to the Mullins guy." She explained quickly, crossing her arms. "I'm not going to let him get away with his behavior."

"I –" He seemed to understand, but the prospect of losing any amount of rest time was disappointing. "It's the rest period, Julia. It's time to sleep."

"I'll be right back, I promise." She reassured him as she began walking through the halls, toward the room that had been set up for their dear visitor.

"I'll save you a spot." John called quietly after her. She didn't acknowledge the words.

She knocked twice.

"Come in." said a deep voice from the other side of the door.

The door creaked as she stepped on his mat, her whole body tingling with dread and anticipation. Her knees shook, her gait wobbly. She had never felt so insecure in her life.

"Hello?" The man called out. "Oh. How nice to see you, commander –"

"I don't know who you think you are," Julia whispered viciously. "I don't know what you think gives you the right to yell at my staff members." He opened his mouth to respond, but she held up a hand. "I also don't care about  _any_  of your excuses."

"Excuses?!" He sputtered, scooting to the edge of his bed. Crouched, ready to leap up at any time. Julia shifted her position.  _I'm in charge here._

"Yes,  _excuses_. Get your  _shit_  together, or I'm going to have to do something about it."

He puffed up his chest. "Is that a threat?"

Her hand had drifted casually to her gun before she realized it. "I don't know why you're surprised. If you threaten our wellbeing, then I will, without hesitation, threaten yours."

"You don't sound like an eighteen year old." He said, with a small laugh.

"You don't sound like you're thirty two." She narrowed her eyes. "Grow a pair and acquire yourself some gentlemanly manners."

"Your people still follow you even when you treat them like this?"

"My people don't act like  _toddlers_  and don't need to threats to keep them from  _killing_ each other. This is the world now, and we're supposed to be helping each other. We haven't yet lost our humanity."

Lowell stood up. She pulled out her gun, but he waved his hands in defeat. "…I'm sorry." He murmured, and she started in surprise. "I haven't slept in several days, and I am very tired and frustrated with the lack of information. This may lead me to act rather… irrationally."

"Oh, seriously. Irrationally my  _ass_." Not buying it. "But because I'm tired and not in the mood to fight, apology accepted. The chopper should be coming tomorrow to pick you up. You can finish what you came to help with, and then don't come back."

Stalking out of his chamber, down empty hallways, Julia felt weaker than she ever had.  _I want to believe that people are good. But sometimes I don't even know if_ I _am good._

She paused at the doorway to John's room. She didn't know if she could handle more human contact tonight.

"Jul?"

_This time was okay. John was different. She didn't need to be strong for him._

 

* * *

Julia woke long before he did, and smiled slightly at the sight of him snoring and with the entirety of the bedcovers tangled around him. Often left her cold at night, that little habit did. But if an extra bed was needed, she could endure nestling with her best friend for a few nights.

She resisted the urge to playfully tackle him and invite him up for breakfast. He needed his sleep.  _He_  didn't have a body trained to run on as little as possible. Julia sighed and slid around him to get off of the bed. She found running shorts and her shoes in the dark, but no top - she settled for his shirt.  _I'll change later, really._

Her first stop was the office; or it would have been if she hadn't heard someone ruffling pages within. She strode in and she stopped short.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Lowell rapidly straightened up and didn't bother to hide the pile of her private papers on the desk. "Following orders." He admitted, putting his hands up.

"I'm sorry.  _Orders?_ " She repeated, blood boiling. "What, did Mullins send you over to spy on us?"

"Need-to-know basis, ma'am." His expression was blank, and she wanted nothing more than to slap it off.

She crossed the room and snatched the closest stack of papers up. "I'm not  _'ma'am'_ , I'm  _Julia_." She tossed the papers aside and leaned forward menacingly. "Let me explain something to you. I'm not like you people, so talk to me like I am. Just because everyone else is giving up their identities doesn't mean I have to. I'm not some soldier. I'm still me."

He remained silent, staring at her blankly. She made a noise of disgust, and pointed.

"You need to get the fuck out of my office."

He turned and promptly left. Julia walked slowly around her desk, examining what was in place around the office and wasn't. It looked like he had left no stone unturned in looking for – _for something_. But what did he want? She sat down and tried to muse on the question, but with the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she couldn't sit still.

"I don't know what Mullins thinks they're up to," Julia leaned back in her chair, thinking hard. "But I'm going to find out."

 

* * *

After taking care of her normal chores, she hurried up to John's office, intending to tell him everything that had happened.

"It's not here." A voice said suddenly from down the hallway.

She turned.

_The voice was coming from Lowell's door._

She crept up to the door, left ajar, and listened carefully. "No. I'm quite sure, sir." Lowell was saying. "I've checked the grounds, the room, the leader's records. Just a bunch of teenagers, sir. Nothing else."

There was a long moment. Julia strained to hear, but was rewarded with nothing. "No, she left no time to discuss potential opportunities." He laughed, and Julia felt a shiver run down her spine. "She's a bitch of the first-class order, I tell you, and a good leader. But she would never leave. She has nothing to offer us."

"I understand." Lowell continued after a pause. "Yes, I know the protocol. Burn the roof first."

 

* * *

The door to the tower office slammed open with a bang.

John looked up curiously at first, and then jumped to his feet. She stumbled towards him; he caught and steadied her. "What's the problem?" He demanded, putting his hands on either side of her face. "You're white as a ghost."

"John." Julia inhaled sharply, and batted away the hand he had placed on her forehead, checking her temperature. "Stop fussing with me, John, I'm not what's important here –"

"Your health is pretty damn important –"

"I don't think Lowell is from Mullins base."

He drew up short. His hands fell to her shoulders. He was distracted for a moment as he gripped the fabric of one of his own shirts, but refocused on the task at hand. "Why not?" He whispered.

"He's going to try and hurt us." Julia's heart began racing again; she winced and let out a little moan.

"Are you sure?" He bent down to make sure she was looking at him in the eyes. The fact that it was hard for her seemed to worry him even more about her physical health.

"He was going through my private papers and I overheard him talking to someone, talking about our settlement." She explained quickly what she had seen this morning. "I don't think he's from Mullins."

"Unless Mullins was trying to bring us down." John proposed, hands dropping to her arms, and all the way down until he was holding both of her hands.

"But why would they?" Julia persisted, shaking her head, the breaths coming faster now. A lump rose in her throat. "What have we done to them? We're –" A broken sob escaped her throat. He looked back at her in surprise. "We're just a bunch of scared teenagers. We haven't hurt anyone. We  _wouldn't_."

"Julia."

"So  _why_  are we facing death right now?"

"Are –" He stopped, gentle now. "Are you crying, sweetheart?"

"No!" Julia took a deep breath and tried to wipe the evidence of tears off of her cheeks. "I don't cry. Leaders don't cry."

"I'm not buying it, Julia"

He pulled her close to him, placing a hand on her cheek and moving it to her head of thick, black hair. His fingers dug into her soft, fragrant locks, and his other arm was wrapped tightly around her. She threw her arms around his neck and breathed him in. She breathed deep.

"Don't be afraid, Jul." He soothed, keeping her close. "We'll think of a plan, I promise. I mean –" He straightened up; she pulled away slightly. "You want me to go get a shotgun now?"

"No –" She insisted, looking down at his chest. "I want to find out his motivations. Any way to we could… trap him?"

"We could if we want to get shot." John raised an eyebrow. "I mean, what's more important – trying to figure out why he's trying to kill us or stop him from actually doing it?"

Julia shook her head. "This information could be worth our  _lives_  if we can get it back to someone – that Mullins base might be compromised."

"Do you think that's what happened?"

"A definite possibility. Why else would this be happening? We might need to relocate, even – if we get the chance before he burns us to the ground."

The two stared at each other, realizing that hundreds of lives might be responsible for their actions in the next few moments. For a moment, Julia's hands tightened on him. She reached up –  _You are my strength. You are the reason I go on –_ He glanced down at her lips, and –

And then the moment was over. "Try to get Sam back on the comms." Julia ordered, releasing John and running her fingers through her hair. "Jesus Christ, I just need him to reassure me right now. And we can ask – isn't her name Janine, the lady in charge when their Major's gone? We can ask her what to do."

John nodded and sprang to work. Julia paced around to room, mind racing. John fiddled with dials. She heard a sharp inhale, and rapid clicks, but no kind of whir as the machinery came to life. It was only when John turned to her that she realized something was horribly, horribly wrong.

"The comms system is down."

"What?" She repeated, unable to believe it.

"The comms system is down. It's – it's down, we can't –" He started to hyperventilate. "It's not broken, I checked them myself this morning."

"Then what –"

"It's a  _power_  problem. He must have cut the generator, Julia."

Her head spun so violently. She could feel herself breaking down.

_No._

"Julia." His eyes widened as he stood back up. "Julia, we're already out of time."

That's when they smelled the smoke.

 

* * *

The fire had come. They were too late. Julia sprang into action, pulling out her gun –  _she hadn't put all of them on today, what had she been thinking_  – and went for the door to the outside roof. John flung up the door the staircase and began yelling down, his voice reverberating.

"EVERYONE GET OUT. IF YOU HEAR THIS, KEEP YELLING IT. RUN. IF YOU FIND WATER, BRING IT BACK."

He was rewarded with human echoes and a large flurry of activity. He followed Julia outside.

The roof was ablaze, the flames licking the gasoline-soaked stones. Everything was a blaze of heat and hell. The monster of orange was only fed by the whirring of the helicopter as Lowell swung aboard and began his escape. John rushed past Julia, who was hiding behind the building, and screamed out at the traitor.

"What do you want from us?" He screeched, then ducked as Lowell stuck his head out with a rather hefty gun and began to shoot at him. He retreated back into the room as Julia stepped out and began to return rapid fire. She was rewarded by a loud scream for her efforts, but no matter what she did, the chopper still lifted away and retreated. Someone continued to fire back.

It was a lost cause, and Julia knew it. Abandoning the choppet, Julia raced to the side of the tower, watching to see what direction the plane was going to be turning. John reached her and stared down as their people frantically tried to find water to put the fire out. However, a much more pressing matter caught Julia's eye.

"I…  _oh my god_."

There had to be hundreds of the undead marching, shambling towards them, attracted like a bloodthirsty moth to the proverbial flame. Residents on the first floor abandoned their attempts at gathering water and fled. People scattered in every direction, every direction screaming as the zombies went for them. Even when they tried to run – people were being devoured before their eyes – everyone going in different directions – everyone here was going to die.

"There's no way our walls are going to last." Julia leaned over the side, suddenly dizzy. "We can't handle this fire  _and_  those zombies. This – this is the end. Skoobs is finished."

"No."

" _We're_  finished."

"No way. No way we're accepting this." John shook her violently back into reality, teeth gritted. Julia tore herself from his viselike grip. "We'll fight out way out, damn it. We can do it. Look, they're all going for the main entrance –following the smell of people." He gestured to the ground, where the zombies had managed to claw down a section of the wall closest to the tower. "They're leaving the other areas alone. We'll just – get down to the second floor and jump out the right way."

"The second floor? John, we're not going to make it!"

"We have to try. Let's get down there and we'll jump from the window and make a run for… Abel Township, I think they're closest."

Screams of the dying began to echo from the staircase. Julia felt like collapsing. But John – John was her strength. John dragged her through the doorway and dropped to the floor, crawling as fast as he could out of the den. Once out of the den, she saw that there was a light at the end of the staircase – but the fire wasn't going to stop the zombies.

A loud cracking noise came from the roof. Julia hurriedly got to her feet and leaped for the front door just as the first of the fiery beams came crashing down.

The first of the zombie leapt through the fire at the end of the staircase, hissing and spitting. Julia took it down with a quick gunshot to the head, but only more zombies seemed to replace it. The bullets pass cleanly through the heads of the next two zombies. The third looked up from its meal only to meet the same fate.

John's hand interlaced with hers, and he led her further down the stairs – towards the zombies. She continued to shoot with her gun, but as they reached the second floor, there were too many of them and not enough bullets.

Cold hands suddenly gripped her neck, wrenching her away from John. She tried to wrestle free of the zombie's chilling clutches, but it held her too tightly. The creature moved in close to take a bite out of her shoulder. Unfortunately for the zombie, this move had given Julia just enough leverage to boost the walking corpse up and over her shoulder, throwing it to the floor. Before the zombie could get up, John whipped out one of his daggers and plunged it into the zombie's forehead.

"For the record," John whispered, after gasping in air. "I blame you."

"What!?" Julia screeched, ducking her head as embers drifted through the air. "This was your idea!"

"Yeah, but you let the dude into town in the first place!" John said, clenching his hands and glancing around for the exit. There was a small door to the right that they would be able to sneak through if there wasn't any noise. John laid a hand on Julia's arm and gestured to the open door. Her eyes sparked in acknowledgement.

They fled into the empty room. "We're just going to have to flee for it." John panted. I think it's too late for warning anyone. The zombies are being attracted to the flames on the roof. Only more are going to be coming."

Well, mostly empty. As Julia began to barricade the door, one of the creatures came at her with its one arm held out, ready to rip her throat out. John seized one of the blocks of wood on the floor. When the zombie came right into his range, and John brought the beam around, the momentum carrying it into the zombie's skull. The zombie crumpled instantly from the blow. John winced and seized at his leg, dropping his weapon.

Julia paused and reached over to him. "Are you hurt?" She asked quickly.

He took a look down at himself. "Yeah." He sighed. "Lowell grazed my leg, and the adrenaline is fading. I'll be okay – you're almost safe."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Trying to save me, idiot." Julia said, tears welling up in her eyes. "You're not a superhero."

"I'm not trying to be a superhero." John said weakly, panting and wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Unless," He smiled. "You count trying to be yours."

His words were punctuated by howling and scratching at the door. Soon, the room would be swarming with undead. "Damn it, John!" She had reached out to throw herself into his arms but there was no time. "We shouldn't have come in this way." She glanced around, eyes widening. "Is there even a way out?" The windows were covered with wood nailed into place. Oh,  _lord_. We might be trapped." She whispered, and turned to look at him. "We might be trapped in here, John."

"I… whoops." He said, the hope in his eyes dying.

She stood up and began to tear at the wood blocks covering the windows. She groaned and took her hands away to see that they had begun bleeding. John tore her frantic hands away and simply held her hands for a moment, blood or no.

"I just want to say that if we die because I trapped you in here…. My bad."

She wanted to laugh, but she had no breath left.

The door shattered. A snarling zombie hurled itself at John. The two, living and dead, fell to the floor. Julia continued to pound at the window, until finally removing her gun and shooting one of the last of their precious bullets in shattering the wood. Thankfully, it did open, enough for them the squeeze through.

She glanced back at John. He had grabbed hold of the undead man's head, and with a calculated twist, snapped its neck. She felt shocked at his uncharacteristic but necessary force. But the enraged corpse did not stop. Despite having no control, its eyes frantically pointed towards the potential meal, trying to will its jaws forward.

John rolled and slammed the zombie into the wall beside them, and the paralyzed zombie convulsed on the ground. Another one entered the room, eyes on Julia. "Jesus Christ!" She shrieked, as it stumbled towards her – she took it out with a shot to the forehead.

John didn't have time to smile before a third was right next to him, swinging its arms at his head. He swiped at it with his own weapon, cutting a deep gash but not fazing it. He missed with his second stab, just as it seized him and knocked him into the wall. As it tried to bite him, he himself was trying to get some angle of advantage where he could drive his blade up into her brain through her jaw.

John flinched as a gunshot rang out. A bullet blew through the zombie's forehead and into the wall near his own. Its body convulsed and gave in, collapsing. He shrugged it off onto the floor and looked up to find a very pale Julia, nodding in his direction. She whirled around and kicked the next zombie, sending it flying, only to find herself dragged backwards by another. Clammy hands, bloodthirsty moans – she struggled for a moment, and then gave in. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to watch.  _So much pain. It'll soon be over._

But John was there – He seized the hand on her arm and kicked the zombie by her leg. It reeled backwards as Julia's eyes snapped open. She couldn't flee – the first zombie had her by the neck and John pressed up against the window. John yanked the arm, thinking to make it fall further, but horrifyingly, the arm came apart for the shoulder socket. The zombie returned easily and bit viciously into John's skin at his shoulder. John screamed in agony and batted his hands at it, but his attempts were futile. Julia took out the zombie with the last bullet. It fell to the ground, fragments of John's clothes and skin still in its mouth.

John looked back up at her and the entire world passed between them. He stood up with a groan and reached for her. She eagerly opened her arms, zombies behind him or not.

"No, go!" She had misjudged his urgency. He felt his hands on hips as he lifted her up and forced her ungracefully out of the window. She fell into the bushes a story below.

* * *

Rapidly untangling herself, ignoring the blood oozing for cuts all over her body now, she scanned the area – she would be free if she sprinted,  _now_. Julia heard more of his screams of pain up at the window, punctuated by zombie moans. Julia looked up, but instinct took over and she began to flee in the other direction.

His head pounded a violent rhythm, her heart hammering the feisty melody. The darkness enveloped her, suffocated her, drowned her. With every shallow breath as she attempted to flee, a sharp pain roared through her rib cage. The pain was her only link to reality; her anchor, her strength without –  _without –_

Another breath came, and then another, though the world was ending. She focused on the pain, and used it to pull herself out of the numbness, as she had always done.

Once she had a free moment, she stopped and checked her gun. She was out of bullets. She would have to find more. She glanced back the way she came: a tower of flames was ascending into the sky. Skoobs was burning. There was no hope of putting it out. There was no hope of rescuing anyone inside.

The woods were pitch black, a darkness as palpable and thick as ink. April tried to peer into the blackness for some human life, her eyes wide and searching, but there was nothing to see — only the swirling shadows of her own vision, the illusion of movement made by her body.

But there was only the stillness and the silence and the dark. It was like she had gone deaf and blind. The world didn't exist anymore. The blackness had choked out reality.

She slowed to a walk and turned back to look at the burning remnants of Skoobs. A place so full of life was burning itself out of existence. There would be no more laughter, no more Mean Girls, no more life. Everything was gone, she was gone, and John was dead.

John is dead.

_John is dead._

Julia buckled over, her knees making contact with the grass while her stomach emptied itself of its current contents. Pain rippled through her rib cage with every heave that escaped her body. Her head spun uncontrollably, the hammering becoming more and more intense.

After her stomach had emptied, Julia found she didn't have the strength to lift herself up, and openly, broke down into sobs. Inhaling had become painful, each lodging another shard of ice in her lungs. Thick cords bound her chest, preventing her from feeling. A storm raged inside the room, or perhaps just inside her mind. Exhales became screams of thunder. The blasts of pain through a heartless chest felt like lightning strikes. The downpour raced down her cheeks. Everything was pain. Everything was pain and everything was  _John is dead, John is dead, John is dead._

After a few moments, Julia lifted up off the ground.

_I still have a mission, don't I?_

She had settled in the forests around the townships. For once, the area was devoid of zombies, as they all had been attracted to the tower. She, somehow, had managed to escape. Was anyone else alive? How could she tell about the betrayal? Is that even what it was?

Julia swayed a little as a sharp pain raged through her chest once again and her head spun slightly. Her left hand flew down to her thigh. As she noticed her own involuntary action, she felt a horrible feeling of dread as her hand felt the damp fabric.

Sweat?

No. Her own blood.

She lifted up the fabric of her shorts in a hurry and gazed down at horror at the teeth marks on her side, still bleeding.

Zombie bite.

She had a zombie bite.

_She had a zombie bite._

No

No

_NO_

NO NO NO NO NO

This couldn't be happening.

This couldn't be happening.

She couldn't die. She couldn't. There was too much to do. She had so much to live for.

She had thought she was invincible, convinced herself that there was hope for the future when she stood up on that tower with a gun in her hands, taking large grasps of air. For once felt completely, utterly, beautifully alive.

But now – now was the complete opposite. Her small frame was wracked with coughs, and she began to sob and slowed to a walk. First a  _cough, then a rattle, then a moan._

It was beginning.

She really was dying.

Dying like John was right now – she had abandoned him in his hour of need, because of the zombies – she was distracting enough, she wasn't –  _oh, John._

She wish she could have been beside him. She wished she could have held his hands. him He would tell her not to be afraid. She would tell him that it was okay for him to go this time. That in these last moments, they could have spent laughing, giggling, breathing in the vibrant air on top of the tower where she thought that she might love him for the rest of eternity.

But now? She is alone out here, in the dark, dying.

The world was colorless, expressionless, emotionless. The dark muffled the sound. The moon and the stars had been blown out of the sky. There was not enough light in this godforsaken place.  _I don't even get to see where I'm dying?_

She was still wearing his shirt. Stretched the material in her hands, she buried her face within. It smelled like him. It smelled like the rain. She and – and him – danced in the rain sometimes, holding one another and laughing like children who had no worry for the future or what it would bring.

The coughs were unbearable. She was choking; she can sense that now. It was like nothing she had experienced before on earth. The fire burning down her home had nothing on what was inside of her. A yelp of agony escaped her.

Tears formed at the tips of her eyes and black spots danced in front of her vision. Her inner strength that had kept her supported though all years had faded like the stars from the sky. Her struggles, her triumphs, her friendships – all had been for naught. Her people were dead. John was dead. She had failed. She deserved to die.

John would have held her hand and told her she was wrong.

She would have believed him.

The light faded from her eyes as she heard a sound, one she recognized all too well, in her air – a moan, a horrifying sound that spoke of death and rotting and wanting, and realized with a start that it was coming from her own mouth.

_I guess it's time to go._

_I'll see you soon, John._

* * *


End file.
